Several years a go a friend turned me on to a free stock photo site called stock.xchng (sxc.hu). Many of the images I use on my blog come from there.

I started contributing to that photo community and after a year or two I had about fifty pictures up on my profile. Shots of my kids have been used on web sites and in text books in countries, literally, around the world. At last check I had nearly 100,000 downloads of my stuff.

So, I decided to see if I could make some money at stock photography.

I took down my free stuff, because it is a requirement of most pay sites, filled out the application, took the “entrance exam”, and submitted three sample shots. Not just any samples but sample that had thousands of downloads.

They were rejected.

Now, I do get to try again and they DID provide some guidance as to why those shots were rejected but it still stings. I was tempted to print the email and file it with a couple of rejection letters I have from publishers but I thought I’d blog about it instead.

If you’ve ever experienced rejection, and who hasn’t really, you know it can be tough. In this case though I’m talking specifically about your work, or project, or effort being rejected, not you as a person. I’m not doing dating advice here although you can decide if it applies.

So the next time you find yourself DENIED, SHUT DOWN, REJECTED try to remember these simple reminders:

Tip #1 Remember it isn’t personal.
Whether we’re talking about an audition, a book proposal, or some sample photographs that get rejected you have to remind yourself that it isn’t a rejection of you as a person.

So often we pour ourselves so deeply into our work, especially when it is a creative endeavor, that it becomes unclear where we stop and the work beings. That line becomes such a smooth gradient that it’s impossible to distinguish the result from the effort from the passion.

But remember that what has been rejected is the work NOT you.

Tip #2 Remember to listen.
When we experience rejection emotion bubbles right to the surface. Our dignity is offended and we want to find a way to reject the thinking behind the rejection. “What?!?! Are you KIDDING me?!? Idiots! I’ll show them”

Just stop…breath…and listen.

More often than not the rejection is because the work doesn’t meet the need. Remember that the person approving your work is, in effect, your first customer. You should be looking to provide what they believe THEY need rather than looking past them to their customers. It might be true that you know their customer base better than they do, but odds are you don’t.

My photos were rejected primarily on composition. I disagree BUT by listening to that criticism I now know what to tweak in the next round to try to meet what they’re looking for in a stock photo.

Every rejection has the potential to hold a kernel of truth that, if you listen for it, will make you more likely to succeed next time.

Tip#3 Remember to learn.
I know, it sounds like a repeat of Tip#2, but every rejection is an opportunity to learn. Sometimes we’re NOT told why we missed the mark and that in itself may provide some learning.

• Sometimes we learn what we could do better to have our work accepted next time.
• Sometimes we learn what the market is after at the moment and we can tweak our work to match the need.
• Sometimes we learn that what we THINK we’re good at isn’t really our calling at all. (See American Idol for good examples of this one!)

In any of these instances we gain insight that helps us decide where next to move. If I find out I am not good at stock photography composition I’ll turn more in the direction of artistic expression and sports photography. If My children’s book idea gets rejected a few more times I may have to turn to writing for adults…or stick with blogging.

Each rejection is a potential learning experience that guides future endeavors if we listen closely and don’t allow it to define who we are because it isn’t personal.

Have you ever had your work rejected? What did you learn from the experience?