New Years is typically a weird deal for me. On the one hand it IS the start of a new year, but on the other hand…it isn’t. It is the middle of the school year and the end of the football year, or used to be until they extended the football year to make more money. Which reminds me, it IS the start of a new fiscal year, at least for the average Joe, so maybe that’s enough to swing the scales.

If I’m being transparent I didn’t like 2011, it wasn’t one of my better years. So I’m glad to start a new year. I’m hoping that 2012 will be better though if the Mayans are right we won’t get to see it to the end. That being said I’d like to offer five suggestions for 2012. Five ideas that might help you see thing from a different perspective. (It was originally twelve but I didn’t think you’d read that many!)

1. Listen with the intent to understand.
Years ago I heard an African-American pastor give a great illustration of the difference between the black church and the white church. “In the white church”, he said, “Mrs. Johnson is listening to see if she hears anything with which she disagrees. She is there to confirm and defend her position. But in the black church Mrs. Jefferson is listening for anything she can agree with and jumps in with a big AMEN when she does!”

Too often we listen to people in order to find the flaw in their argument. Try listening more to understand their perspective, from THEIR perspective, rather than from your interpretation of it.

2. Read at least three classics.
These are the books that have stood the test of time for a reason. Amongst the more modern authors I read last year I also tossed in some Jules Verne, Robert Lewis Stevenson, Jane Austen, Mark Twain, Charles Dickens, and Herman Melville. GREAT STUFF.

Great storytellers help us understand our own story a little better. How would Twain write your life versus Verne? You’ll never know unless you read them.

3. Stop saying: “If I’m being honest…”
I hate it when people use that phrase. It suggests that they aren’t typically honest but NOW they will be. “Most of the time I just snow you with flattering BS but if I’m being honest blah, blah, blah” STOP SAYING IT!

A few years back I switched to “If I’m being transparent…” It suggests that I may not always divulge everything but in this case I will…honestly.

4. Take real interest in the everyday people around you.
Almost every time I am at a sit-down restaurant I find myself in the same routine: “Hi folks. My name is (fill in the blank) and I’ll be taking care of you today. How are we doing today?” I reply typically in the positive and then ask, “And how are you doing?”

Now, it doesn’t matter where I am really the answer back is always: “Great. Can I get you guys something to drink to start off?”

So I stop them right there and ask, “Are you really great or is that just the customer service answer?” Looks snarky in print I know but you’d be surprised at the reactions you get when you do this. If you watch closely, most of the time, you’ll see the mask come down. Sometimes they’ll even offer to be honest.

I could tell a number of stories where just asking this question has spawned good, honest, real conversation. You’d be surprised how easy it is to make someones day a lot brighter just by taking interest in them.

5. Laugh more, even if for no reason.
I’ve discovered that when I run long distances I get tired, and sore, and out of breath. No really, its true. So when all that negative energy starts flowing I choose to laugh. Not at anything in particular, other than the tiredness, and the breathlessness and the soreness. I just laugh. It’s like a shot of mental fuel.

Funny thing is it works when I’m not running too. When things get tense, or stressful I just pause long enough to see where I’m headed…and laugh.

It’s been said that laughter is the best medicine. I think that is a mistranslation of the original language. It should read: Laughter is the best drug, subtle but important difference. Try laughing at odd times in odd places and see what happens.

One last thought? Do NOT make these”resolutions”.  Resolutions, take too much effort, too much scheduling and rarely if ever do they turn into habits. Just try these on for size and see if the people around you don’t notice a difference.

Got one you’d add? Please share with the class!

Author’s note: The photo above is of an architectural detail on Westminster Cathedral in London that is really no bigger than about the size of a soccer ball. I’ve always loved the picture and loved it even more for the different perspective that happens when I added my kids into the shot.  For me 2012 will be about exploring, and providing, different perspectives. I hope you’ll come along for the ride.