Four Tips for Helping People Understand You Better.

How often have you heard someone say, “I know that’s what I said, but what I meant was…” or some variation thereof?

Communication is an interesting animal. We use words to convey ideas and often struggle to find the right ones. Speaking of course is the worst because it is real time. All the editing typically happens between the head and the mouth.

Now, if you’re a poor conversationalist the tips I am about to provide probably won’t help you much. You’re better off renting The King’s Speech. What I want to work on here is how to be better understood in a more formal speaking setting. That being said, three tips:

1. Have a point.
Your point is NEVER “to provide information”. You always provide information FOR A REASON…and that reason is your point. If I just say, informationally, “You know you should always have a point when you open your mouth to speak”, you would nod and agree and still often be pointless.

My point here is to help you be a better communicator. To be clear here, when I say ‘have a point’ I mean something you can articulate in a single sentence. “The reason I am speaking to these people is…”

That sentence will become the anchor to which I attach all the information you are about to provide. Without it the information becomes overwhelming and floats off into the sunset like a boat one the waves.

2. Stick to the point.
If you’re being asked to speak you have information. You probably have enough information to speak for hours. But how much of that information supports your point?

In business setting I typically find that something like 50-60% of the information in any presentation really belongs in an appendix, stuff that supports the talk but isn’t directly connected to the main point. Leave all THAT stuff out. Save it for the Q&A at the end.

3. Consider you audience.
Whatever it is you’re communicating should have some relevance to why the audience is there. Otherwise your point becomes one of trying to prove how smart, or funny, or important you are.

I was struck by a thought today, and I confess I may have read this somewhere but if not then I want full credit:

“No one cares what you know until they know that you care.”

Granted there are exceptions to this. If the plane is going down and you know where the parachutes are I don’t care if you care about me, I just want to know what you know.

4. Sharpen your message to match.
Case in point: I hate the title of this post. It started as “The Power of Clarity” the morphed into the grammatically poor., “Four Reasons Why You Need to Be More Clear”.

Here’s what I know about my audience at this point. In general a phrase like “The Power of Clarity” is interesting, but it does not generate page views. If I want my audience to benefit from what I think I have to provide I have to start with a hook, something that will prompt YOU to read the post.

“The Power of Clarity” is informational. “Four Tips” conveys the notion that I care about helping you be better. Same information, same point, better connection to the audience.

What do you find to be the biggest challenge in being completely understood?

Please note: I reserve the right to delete comments that are offensive or off-topic.

5 thoughts on “Four Tips for Helping People Understand You Better.

    • It’s funny how often people just sling information. I think we got it from years of being in school. The teachers just impart knowledge but the students desperately want to know WHY they should learn the information…hence the age old question, “Will this be on the test?” Because, of course, it would be rude to ask, “Why do we need to know this?” and expect a concrete answer.

      • When I taught college classes years ago, my students absolutely wanted to know why something was relevant. I tried very hard to help them see why what they were learning (I taught English and Communication) was relevant to their lives and the careers toward which they were working. Some did ask “Will this be on the test?” but I really tried to downplay the tests because I knew that real learning often did not take place there. I emphasized that most of their points came from homework and project assignments, and I encouraged them to connect those things with their career and personal goals. Not sure how much of an impact I had, but I felt good about at least making that effort.

  1. My biggest challenge in being completely understood lies within myself, and that is my skill with listening to others. When I fail to listen to others, I fail to then communicate in a way that they can understand. Listening is a huge part of being understood because it really allows you connect with others in a way that allows them to then hear you. Listening also creates an understanding between individuals that increases the chances of being understood.

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